The Calamus is Lost in Transliteration!
by Funky Tanuki
Summary: It's up to one captain to find out what went wrong with Star Ocean's localization or become a transfandom pun in the process. Rating partially due to Roddick's potty mouth and the connotation of his name.
1. Introduction

AN: Once I get First Departure back from the peep who's borrowing it, I can do a direct comparison. For now, I'm just gonna stick with character comparisons.

This is between DeJap's translation of the snes SO and Squueenix's port-esque version. Considering I'm not fluent in Japanese, I can't do a literal, literal translation in my own words.

Considering that the character differences where the biggest, that's the real focus anyway.

**I'm also going to use the character artwork as a reference, so make sure to check out the links I provide.**

* * *

_The Calamus is Lost in Transliteration Amid an Ocean of Stars!!_  
**One Man's Journey for Truth!**

Introduction

He is the captain of the Calamus–not to be confused with the Calnus(es)–an intergalactic vessel that is only slightly less mysterious as himself. His face is always covered. He hardly ever speaks. He moves with a sense of purpose. Who is this ambiguously awesome man? His name is Robert Paulso---sorry–Mr. Pseudonymous.

Mr. Pseudonymous has a task of great importance; the fate of the universe is at hand. The good captain must find some middle ground between Star Ocean for the SNES/Super Famicom and the Star Ocean: The First Departure for the PSP.

And the Caped Masked Crusader has just the solution.

He will have each version's character face each other while he merely records and observes.


	2. Roddick vs Ratix

AN: **This is Roddick. **.

**This is Ratix. **.

It's very helpful to look at the character's pictures as reference.

* * *

_The Calamus is Lost in Transliteration Amid an Ocean of Stars!!_  
**Phallic Innuendoes.**

The room is empty, smooth, _seamless_. Well, empty save for two totally out of place plastic chairs, and two similar looking fellpools sitting in them. It is understood that the dearS captain is watching from another room.

Roddick is very agitated, and it's a wonder that he's still in his seat considering how jumpy he is being. Glaring at Ratix, he seems ready to start a brawl. "You're totally obsolete, man. I'm from the fucking future; you're just some shit from 90 something."

Ratix, since the very beginning, has a p-p-p-poker-face-borderline-complacent visage. His hand is cupping his chin as he watches Roddick continue his tirade.

"Seriously. I'm more AMERICAN than you."

"I'm remastered buy fucking SQUEEEENIX."

"I speak in English."

"Professional people made me pleasing to my Ameri-Euro peeps."

"Oh, and I look prettier and I'm Port-able." With that, Roddick slumps into his chair considering he's out of break from is never ending, poorly construed speech.

Ratix simply offers a slight albeit all-knowing smile. "You may look newer, but your expression is so wrong. I assume your facial expression is supposed to be fierce like the pimp hero that you are, but that look can be easily mistaken for being scared shitless. You also have your sword out like you're being defensive. And well, me? I could give the Cheshire Cat a run for his money in sheer smugness _if I do say so myself_."

He crosses his legs in a casual manner. "But let's get to the important issue. Our name. It's originally Japanese, I'm sure you know, and it is written as (excluding the "Farrence"): ラティクス. Ra-te-kku-su. Now tell me, _Roddick_, do you see the problem?"

Roddick sorta flinches, but manages to mutter meekly, "I'm localized…"

"And I'm not? Don't respond; that's rhetoric." After making sure the other blue haired Roakian keeps his mouth shut, he continues, "My name is both localized and close to the original name, but your name, however, sounds…"

He cannot bring himself to finish, and just lets the thought hang.

Roddick then looks up with his big, impossibly huge blue eyes. "What are you trying to say?"

And clearly, Roddick does not know.

With a sigh, he fills the naïve boy in, "Roddick. Rod. Dick. _Rod. Dick_. Your name is the perfect ammo for phallic jokes. It's inescapable, really."


End file.
